Author: trevoressmith

Can Resisting Temptation be Contagious?

Can Resisting Temptation be Contagious?

According to new research…YES! Many people believe that “self-control” is an individual attribute, and if you are not one of the lucky few that possess this gift, it is unlikely that you will triumph over the battle to resist temptation. However, a new study by Michelle van Dellen, a psychologist at the University of Georgia, concluded that self-control does in fact have a social component and the ability to resist temptation is contagious.

In one study, a group of students watched an individual choose a carrot instead of a cookie, while the other group watched an individual eat the cookie instead of the carrot. Next, the students were put through a test of self-control and those who watched the individual choose the carrot displayed more discipline than those who watched the individual eat the cookie. The behavior of the students reinforces the idea that RESISTING TEMPTATION IS CONTAGIOUS.

If you are lacking self-discipline and easily succumb to temptation, MedHelp offers tools and online community support to help you succeed. In their new Tracker Gallery, you can view other member’s trackers for motivation and share your own to help inspire others. So what are you waiting for? Log on now and kick that habit today!

http://www.medhelp.org

That is one of the great benefits of staying in fellowship with Christian believers!

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Uniting in Christian Love – A thought on Valentine’s Day

Uniting in Christian Love

Today is celebrated as Valentine’s Day and has the theme of LOVE. I will explore some foundation principles related to bonding that can be applied to our families, a congregation and any team or group to which we are attached.

Why is cohesiveness – bonding, unity, team spirit – relevant?

1. As the popular saying goes in a team – Together Each Achieves More. Team and group work is more effective that independent individual effort.

2. Despite His mighty power, one of the first things Christ did at the start of His ministry was to pull together a team that would lead the process and sustain it after His departure.

3. Even among His elite team, cohesiveness challenges were present. Why should we expect to be different?

If we think of our bonding as improving teamwork then it is useful to reflect on a definition of TEAM:
“A team is a small number of people with complementary skills who are committed to a common purpose, set of performance goals and approach for which they hold themselves mutually accountable.”

What can we learn from this definition?

1. People with complementary skills

It is important to note Team work and Team Cohesiveness do NOT mean that everybody has to be same. We do not have to be clones to achieve unity and have high team spirit.

Even a quick examination of God’s handiwork will show that He wants to promote diversity. He introduces variety at every opportunity.

Calls for unity and commonality of purpose should NOT be equated with stripping us of our individuality. Successful teams need people to bring different talents, perspectives and ideas to the table.

I put it more strongly: One sign of a successful team is the fact that it helps its members to achieve self-fulfilment. Members feel empowered and move closer to the vision that they have of themselves in fully functional teams.

2. People who are committed to a common purpose.

The glue that holds the entire thing together is the commitment to the common purpose. Without the commitment to the common purpose the team loses its compass and finds it impossible to steer a clear and predictable path.

Without the commitment to the common purpose, members do not have any point of reference that can hold them together. It is like using rubber bands to tie a team of wild horses together and expecting them to pull your chariot along a prescribed path.

This requirement has two distinct and critically important components:

There must be a clearly identified purpose that is understood in the same way by all the members of the team. The purpose cannot be something that one person dreams up and fails to share with every member of the team.

The second component is that all the members of a functional team commit to the same understanding of the common purpose. One indelible sign of a dysfunctional team is the fact that some members are wavering in their commitment to the common purpose.

The importance of this focus on commitment to a common purpose is not lost in the scriptures:

Eph 4: 4 There is one body and one Spirit— just as you were called to one hope when you were called— 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Phil 1:27 Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel.

3. People who are committed to a set of performance goals and approach

Successful teams know where they are going. They also know how they are going to get there. In addition, they know if they are on track.

Successful teams are clear on the strategies and the activities that will lead them to the achievement of the common purpose.

Successful teams have guidelines and yardsticks that indicate to them whether they are on course or not.

Successful teams do not lose bearing and lose momentum because they have set performance goals that keep them on track.

In successful teams members know and commit to the performance goals. They understand that the guidelines and yardsticks are directly linked to the attainment of the common purpose. Consequently, the failure to meet a performance goal is a step away from achievement of the common purpose to which they are committed.

In successful teams members buy into an agreed approach. One that is tied to performance goals that lead to attainment of the common purpose.

In successful teams members strive to understand the agreed approach and its implications for them and for the team.

In successful teams members do NOT come up with their own approaches and guidelines as they deem fit. This is NOT what is meant by your being able to keep your individuality.

4. People who are mutually accountable
Jesus was an exceptional team coach. Flip through the Gospels again with a mind set to look for issues related to working in groups, team spirit and team cohesiveness and see how Jesus handled them.

He understood the importance of the internal workings of the team. Issues concerning how members interact with each other.

Matt 12: 25:
25 Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.

The ultimate advice with respect to unity and bonding for the Christian is given by Christ himself:

Matt 22: 34 – 40

34 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: ”‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

What are the characteristics of this love that we ought to have for our neighbours:

1 Cor 13:

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

For me, some of the clearest instructions on how to Christians are to bond is reflected in Romans 12:

Love
9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.

17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d]says the Lord. 20On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Also Col 3:
12Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

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Key to self-control and discipline

The key to self-control and discipline:
If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. James
3:2

Thought usually precedes speech. So if tongue control = perfection we have to discipline our thoughts to achieve self-control. This is the renewal of the mind.

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D-I-S-C roles in the Circus

D: Lion tamer or Globe of Death bike rider. I am in charge her King of Jungle. Risk taking.

I: MC or juggler. Entertaining, multi-tasking.

S: Not on stage please. Back-office, planning co-ordinator. Managing the customer experience.

C: Magician. Analytical study and mastery of what mystifies most. Precision. Error avoidance.

Courtesy: Success with People Academy
info.swp@extendeddisc.com

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Team Cohesiveness

Cohesiveness Interventions

The risk of cohesiveness challenges is ever present where individuals interact. Not to be left out, even the schizophrenic has internal conflicts. On a serious note, a lack of understanding and cohesiveness is a major drain on productivity and job satisfaction in the work environment. Many organizations fail to count the cost of mis-communication, disengagement, open conflict, mistrust and a lack of shared commitment in their entities.

Over the past several decades, the DISC-based framework and its refinements have been shown to be not only the most easily understood and implemented solution but it is also the intervention that guarantees lasting impact on participants.

The “Success with People” framework is the highest refinement of the Jungian DISC principles. Invariably persons involved in Success with People (SWP) interventions come to “So that is why!”, “Now I understand” and “That explains it” conclusions. They quickly recognize that the challenges that they are having in relating to some individuals is directly linked to differences in behavioural preferences. Simultaneously, they also learn that no behavioural style is better or worse than the other, they are just different.

These distinctions are based on the learning of the language of behaviours. Armed with this new language, communication is dramatically improved as people are now communicated to in a tongue and tone with which they are comfortable. Even chronic trouble-makers are stopped in their tracks when the “Success with People” framework is used to smilingly point to their use of an inappropriate style.

SWP is as much fun as it is effective. It is guaranteed to significantly improve team cohesiveness and to reduce the level of mistrust and other productivity sapping behaviours. The principles resonate to such a great depth that participants cannot help but apply them in their lives. This is guaranteed without exception!

The SWP intervention is underpinned by the use of Extended DISC solutions for managing individuals, teams and organizations. This includes completion of the Extended DISC Personal Analysis. The unique Extended DISC Team Analysis with its Name Map and Scorecard features add objective rigour to the process.

The consistent experience is that once the Team Maps are shared, team members immediately drop their defences and huge opportunities for breakthrough coaching become available to the Success with People trained experts who lead the interventions.

Logistically, team members take 10 – 15 minutes to complete their Extended DISC Personal Analysis online prior to a “Success with People in Teams” workshop (7 contact hours). This is followed by a series of 2-hour coaching sessions. (The number of sessions depends on the issue and responsiveness of the team).

Success with People Team Cohesiveness interventions are guaranteed to produce immediate, identifiable behaviour modification. E-mail now for a FREE consultation: trevor.smith@extendeddisc.com

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Loving Self – G.R.O.W.T.H Framework

Loving self – an alternative path to happiness

The G.R.O.W.T.H. model  provides a pathway to sustainable happiness that is not necessarily tied to having a partner in your life. However, the beauty of the concept is that it inevitably produces the qualities that people want to see in their life partners.

G – grounding. Get to know yourself and be more comfortable with who you are.

  • You are unique. Cherish that.
  • Grounding is made much easier if you have a personal relationship with your Creator.
  • Accept your self worth. Do not allow past experiences and the opinion of others to snatch away the treasures that are yours.

While in the G zone, it is important to avoid the pitfalls of greed, gossiping and goofing off. Any one of these has the potential to derail your plans.

R – Respect is the cornerstone of this zone. Respect for self, for others, for time, for the environment, for God.

  • Take responsibility for your actions and for how life unfolds for you. Blaming others is not a useful practice.
  • Make every effort to be more responsive. Be a willing, caring soul. When the answers to your ‘What’s in it for me?’ questions are linked to benefits to accrue to someone else you know that you are on the right track.
  • References play an important role in our lives. Ensure that wherever you interact with people, you will have given them every reason to present you in a favourable light.
  • Reading. Reclaim several hours per week and channel them into reading worthwhile material. Keep abreast of current events, provide spiritual food for your soul and deepen your understanding of topics that are of interest to you.
  • Key pitfalls to avoid in the R zone include a spirit that requires revenge. In a world that is degenerating into acceptance of the eye for an eye philosophy, people who are long-suffering and ready to forgive will be very special. Be one of those persons.

O – Open-mindedness is the cornerstone of the O zone

  • Open your mind to new information. Be hungry for knowledge. Ask pertinent questions. Be inquisitive.
  • Put new ideas and your cherished views to the test. Learn to distil facts.
  • Pursue self-development. Get the education and training that will prepare you for the attainment of your goals.
  • Anticipate and accept change.

Ugly O’s to avoid include obstinacy, over-reaction, over-dependence.

W – win or make a contribution to winning.

  • Winning covers a multitude of deficiencies. The world loves winners and you too will like yourself.
  • Words – and how you use them are a determinant of your success. While you use words to communicate do not ignore the role of body language in communication. Words are said to communicate less than 10% of the message that is received.
  • Work – find something to do that you find rewarding and generates income.

W pitfalls include whining, wastefulness, aimless wandering.

T zone – Thankfulness. Be grateful for your blessings and respect the provider of those blessings.

  • Be tactful. Show you are a person of class.
  • Be able and willing to teach. This provides an immediate boost to your self-esteem.
  • Manage time well.
  • Master technology.

Elements in the T zone to avoid include: temper tantrums, talking down to others, truancy, tearing others down.

H – health consciousness. As we get a better understanding of how closely inter-connected mind, body and soul are, the issue of health demands attention. It has direct implication for all your aspirations. Critically, you must evaluate your current state of health at least once per year with a health care professional.  Many experts believe that nutrition is at the core of all medical problems. Your health watch must also include an exercise regime. We suggest that you view your exercise period as an opportunity for bonding with others.

  • When hope is lost, things fall apart. You must device mechanisms that you will use to fan the flame of hope and drive away the clouds of doom.
  • Honesty is the best policy.
  • Be humble. However, humility is not synonymous with weakness.
  • Be helpful. The two fundamental spiritual laws are loving God with all our heart and loving our neighbour as ourselves. Once you get into that mindset your giving will never be able to keep pace with the abundance that you receive!

H pitfalls include: hiding behind others, hasty judgement, hassling others.

Don Miguel Ruiz in The Four Agreements identifies a major obstacle to loving self. He points to the prospect of self-rejection that comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal. He suggests that you make and keep agreement with yourself. Tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe and how to behave.

Trevor & Althea Smith

The Smiths are directors of INFOSERV INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY, an Accredited Training Organization. They have been happily married since 1972 and have been engaged in providing coaching for their 3 daughters and for groups and corporations in personal development workshop sessions, including the acclaimed “Success with People” series. E-mail: trevor.smith@extendeddisc.com

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Recipe for success

Recipe for success:

2 Kings 18:5 Hezekiah trusted in the LORD.. 7 And the LORD was with him; he was successful in whatever he undertook.

2 Kings 20: 1 In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to him and said, “This is what the LORD says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover.”

2 Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD, 3 “Remember, O LORD, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.

4 Before Isaiah had left the middle court, the word of the LORD came to him: 5 “Go back and tell Hezekiah, the leader of my people, ‘This is what the LORD, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you. On the third day from now you will go up to the temple of the LORD. 6 I will add fifteen years to your life.

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Getting things done:The 4-Criteria Model

4-Criteria Model for Choosing Actions in the Moment (Getting Things Done – David Allen)

1. Context : Location, access to enabling resources influence what can and cannot be done in the moment.

2. Time available: The key is when do you have to do something else? You can’t fit a 20-minute task into 5 minutes.

3. Energy available: Starting a task that requires a lot of creative energy when you are challenged to keep your eyes open is not such a good idea.

4. Priority: Given the 3 above, choose the action that gives you the highest returns.

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