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Success in Marriage is a collection of powerful frameworks and high impact counselling that is guaranteed to guide you to increased Success in Marriage.
Employ the never before published TENT Framework to steer your actions along the pathway that leads to happiness.
Get ready to R.O.M.P. your way to sustained bliss in your marriage!
Be alert to the 7-point Crisis Spotting Framework for identifying if your relationship is going off-track and heading into trouble.
Let go and avoid a major threat to marital happiness. Taking “Forgiveness: The Wonder Drug” might be the saviour of your marriage.
Remember that Kids don’t say “I do.” This is a sensitive issue that has implications for how marriages progress.
Establish By-laws for In-laws. Unfortunately, marriage is not just about the two partners.
Take heed, in the event, that your relationship is on rocky ground. “Don’t let Fear steal your chance for a happy marriage!” provides practical step-by-step advice as to how to restore your marriage.
Get encouragement for your own marriage from a chapter that is worth its weight in gold: “How I spruced up my 30-year marriage”.
“Other words of wisdom” is a collection of transformational quotes.
Make this transformational book work for you and your partner.
Be sure to complete the exercises and follow the principles consistently for at least 30 days. If you mess up, start re-counting from the next day, until you can honestly say that you have completed 30 consecutive days following the guidelines.
Use a neat trick by having you and your partner keep tracking notes separately. Unfortunately, if one breaks the ground rules or fails to complete an exercise, both of you have to re-start the 30-day countdown.
Plan a major event to share the results over candlelight dinner at the end of your completed 30 day-journey of further development or restoration.
Do not be frustrated by the failure of your partner to buy into the process.
In the event of flat refusal to participate go forward on a solo journey.
Also, pay special attention to the chapters that deal with relationships that might be going off-track.
About Success in Marriage
If you reflect on medication, you will readily agree that it is not the size of capsule or tablet that determines the effectiveness of the medicine. It is the potency that counts.
Success in Marriage is a potent guide to keeping your marriage fresh and for restoring troubled relationships.
If you follow the regime that is outlined, we guarantee that you will light a special spark in your marriage.
Success in Marriage represents original content. This is not a rehash of Google search output. The frameworks are the product of years of practical distillation.
Success in Marriage is designed to assist couples, counsellors and concerned individuals in a battle to restore joy to marriages and to combat the increasing prevalence of divorces.
Our approach is to guide you through processes of reflection, introspection, realignment and renewal. The presentation style is that of supporting you in self-discovery.
This is not a thriller novel where you race through the pages. Our objective is to invite you to be actively engaged with the material as you discover new ways of being that will guarantee the success of your marriage.
This is one of the most thoughtful gifts that you could give to yourself, your partner, your pastor, counsellors, your married friends and anyone planning to get married.
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R.O.M.P….framework for marital bliss
This e-book will be a blessing to any marriage. We invite you to distribute it freely as we join hands in restoring marriage to the revered place that God intended it to be.
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“So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6).
Loving self – an alternative path to happiness
The G.R.O.W.T.H. model provides a pathway to sustainable happiness that is not necessarily tied to having a partner in your life. However, the beauty of the concept is that it inevitably produces the qualities that people want to see in their life partners.
G – grounding. Get to know yourself and be more comfortable with who you are.
- You are unique. Cherish that.
- Grounding is made much easier if you have a personal relationship with your Creator.
- Accept your self worth. Do not allow past experiences and the opinion of others to snatch away the treasures that are yours.
While in the G zone, it is important to avoid the pitfalls of greed, gossiping and goofing off. Any one of these has the potential to derail your plans.
R – Respect is the cornerstone of this zone. Respect for self, for others, for time, for the environment, for God.
- Take responsibility for your actions and for how life unfolds for you. Blaming others is not a useful practice.
- Make every effort to be more responsive. Be a willing, caring soul. When the answers to your ‘What’s in it for me?’ questions are linked to benefits to accrue to someone else you know that you are on the right track.
- References play an important role in our lives. Ensure that wherever you interact with people, you will have given them every reason to present you in a favourable light.
- Reading. Reclaim several hours per week and channel them into reading worthwhile material. Keep abreast of current events, provide spiritual food for your soul and deepen your understanding of topics that are of interest to you.
- Key pitfalls to avoid in the R zone include a spirit that requires revenge. In a world that is degenerating into acceptance of the eye for an eye philosophy, people who are long-suffering and ready to forgive will be very special. Be one of those persons.
O – Open-mindedness is the cornerstone of the O zone
- Open your mind to new information. Be hungry for knowledge. Ask pertinent questions. Be inquisitive.
- Put new ideas and your cherished views to the test. Learn to distil facts.
- Pursue self-development. Get the education and training that will prepare you for the attainment of your goals.
- Anticipate and accept change.
Ugly O’s to avoid include obstinacy, over-reaction, over-dependence.
W – win or make a contribution to winning.
- Winning covers a multitude of deficiencies. The world loves winners and you too will like yourself.
- Words – and how you use them are a determinant of your success. While you use words to communicate do not ignore the role of body language in communication. Words are said to communicate less than 10% of the message that is received.
- Work – find something to do that you find rewarding and generates income.
W pitfalls include whining, wastefulness, aimless wandering.
T zone – Thankfulness. Be grateful for your blessings and respect the provider of those blessings.
- Be tactful. Show you are a person of class.
- Be able and willing to teach. This provides an immediate boost to your self-esteem.
- Manage time well.
- Master technology.
Elements in the T zone to avoid include: temper tantrums, talking down to others, truancy, tearing others down.
H – health consciousness. As we get a better understanding of how closely inter-connected mind, body and soul are, the issue of health demands attention. It has direct implication for all your aspirations. Critically, you must evaluate your current state of health at least once per year with a health care professional. Many experts believe that nutrition is at the core of all medical problems. Your health watch must also include an exercise regime. We suggest that you view your exercise period as an opportunity for bonding with others.
- When hope is lost, things fall apart. You must device mechanisms that you will use to fan the flame of hope and drive away the clouds of doom.
- Honesty is the best policy.
- Be humble. However, humility is not synonymous with weakness.
- Be helpful. The two fundamental spiritual laws are loving God with all our heart and loving our neighbour as ourselves. Once you get into that mindset your giving will never be able to keep pace with the abundance that you receive!
H pitfalls include: hiding behind others, hasty judgement, hassling others.
Don Miguel Ruiz in The Four Agreements identifies a major obstacle to loving self. He points to the prospect of self-rejection that comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal. He suggests that you make and keep agreement with yourself. Tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe and how to behave.
Trevor & Althea Smith
The Smiths are directors of INFOSERV INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY, an Accredited Training Organization. They have been happily married since 1972 and have been engaged in providing coaching for their 3 daughters and for groups and corporations in personal development workshop sessions, including the acclaimed “Success with People” series. E-mail: email@example.com
Blessed with great spouse. 36th year even more enjoyable than Year 1. Giving thanks daily. A happy marriage is real blessing. Got great kids 2!