Manage Difficult People Challenges with DISCerning Communication

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How To Use DISCerning Communication To Deal With Difficult People Challenges

Here is a different strategy for relating to difficult people.

Firstly, appreciate that many difficult situation challenges are really DISCerning Communication issues. The difficulties are largely a clash of behavioural styles.

When we recognize that difficulties are a conflict of behavioural preferences we are able to apply proven strategies to resolve them. However, if we tie the difficult situation challenges to the individual then it is more challenging to find answers.

A Map of Behavioural Preferences  

Dominance, Inducement, Steadiness and Conscientiousness (DISC)

BehaviouralStyleCharacteristics_beyondThe Four_v270514

To get a better sense of how behavioural styles confuse communication we take a few examples from Dominant Style traits.

Others interpret “Direct” as blunt, undiplomatic and insensitive

“Decisive” gets translated as rash and reluctant to conduct proper analysis

“Independent” is viewed as being selfish and not a team player.

What happens when we use DISCerning Communication?

Let Don represent Dominance and Susan represent Steadiness and examine their perspective on “Direct”.

Johnny (colleague) has a problem with body odour. Don’s approach is to place his arm around Johnny’s shoulder and speak directly to the BO challenge advising that this brand of deodorant could solve the problem.

Susan reflects for a long time on how to get the message across to Johnny without hurting his feelings. Finally, she devices some subtle approach to give Johnny a hint.

Susan thinks Don’s approach is insensitive. It will hurt Johnny’s feeling.

Don thinks Susan’s approach takes forever while she devises her diplomacy. In the end, Johnny might even miss the message.

This brings their communication to a difference of approach rather than a personal issue.

We can disagree but it is on the grounds of approach not annoying personal flaws. We open our minds to the possibility that there may be an alternative point of view. There is a tendency to be less emotional in those circumstances.

Let us review an Inducement-Style case

Team members who have a preference for the I-style are often simultaneously the source of great pleasure and immense frustration.

Reliability is the major issue for others.  “But you said you would……” is a recurring phrase.

Here is a radically different perspective that might save you from pulling out more hair.

Our DISCerning Communication skills inform us that a feature of the I-Style is the desire to please. They seek success with and through people.

Given the need to please others, there is a tendency to say “Yes” readily.

There is also their need for interaction.

Let’s use Ivan as an example. You ask him to do you a favour and he says “Sure.” What are Ivan’s realities?

He has a full time job, is President of his Citizens Association, Vice President with responsibilities for Member Issues at his Service Club, enrolled in evening classes…….. Honestly, where would Ivan find the time to carry out your favour?

The bottom line is that people using the I-Style have a tendency to over-commit.  Their desire to please and to connect makes them want to serve. We poke fun at Ivan by noting that when he says “Consider it done”, he instantly considers it as having been done.

How does DISCerning Communication help?

  1. Take care to have Ivan clarify if his response is Yes (meaning I would like to help) or a genuine commitment to completing your task.
  2. Discuss implementation so that the issue is moved from the surface.
  3. Establish deadlines.
  4. Put reminders in place.
  5. Monitor progress.

DISCerning Communication makes a difference.

 

These principles are also incorporated in our 3-D Leader Certification: Leading Difficult People program.

SHRMThe program is accredited by SHRM and offers 16 PDCs for the SHRM-CP or SHRM-SCP certifications. It involves over 16 facilitator-led, interactive hours of coaching plus 12 months of access to Online Courseware, e-Mail Consultation, Webinars and an exclusive Facebook Community.

Learn more at info[at]swpacademy.com

Trevor E S Smith is a Behaviour Modification Coach with the Success with People Academy.

 

 

Are We Groomed To Be Cautious?

“The hands that rock the cradle rule the world.”

The majority of care givers and early childhood practitioners have a preference for the Reserved/People Oriented or S-Style behaviour.

It means that the persons responsible for the socialization process in the critical early stages bring a conservative and risk-averse philosophy to the task.

Examples of S-Style mantra include:

“One thing at a time and that done well”. This flies in the face in the demand for multi-tasking in the rat race world in which we live.

Another favourite is: “When a job has been begun, never leave it till tis done.” One would need to have the uncanny skill to start the most important job all the time and that it remains the most valuable use of your time throughout the completion process.

S-style behaviour in the D-I-S-C Framework is the counterpoint to adventurous characteristic of the D-style – Steadiness versus Dominance.

Does S-Style socialization dampen entrepreneurial fervor? What are your thoughts?

Is Focused Specialization The Best Strategy?

A long standing adage is “One thing at a time and that done well”.  Even more important is the historical focus on shaping careers towards specialization.

Indeed, those who would go against the tide of specialization will be warned about the risk of becoming “jack of all trades” – without being the master of any.

I have noticed that using the D-I-S-C Framework, individuals who are Reserved tend to be more convinced that specialization is the ideal strategy. Persons favoring the Outgoing orientation are more willing to explore multiple opportunities.

Individuals favoring the I-style are widely discriminated against. The face a glass ceiling with respect to the levels of management that they can attain. They are routinely criticized for a lack of focus and the failure to “stick to one thing.”

Now this article bravely advocates that focused specialization is not a good idea. Read more…

 

 

D-I-S-C roles in the Circus

D: Lion tamer or Globe of Death bike rider. I am in charge her King of Jungle. Risk taking.

I: MC or juggler. Entertaining, multi-tasking.

S: Not on stage please. Back-office, planning co-ordinator. Managing the customer experience.

C: Magician. Analytical study and mastery of what mystifies most. Precision. Error avoidance.

Courtesy: Success with People Academy
info.swp@extendeddisc.com

Success with People – DISC Funecdote

School days – Spelling Bee

The SpellMaster calls out D’s word GRASS. D without any hesitation spells out the letters in a confident, strong voice  G-L-A-S-S. The SpellMaster indicates that the spelling is not correct.  D quickly prompts the school coach to protest on the grounds that the SpellMaster did not pronounce the word with sufficient clarity. The contest is halted for some time while this is sorted out, eventually D is allowed to spell another word.

Ivan, Ivan, Ivan…  it’s your turn.” Ivan spells with the rhythm that the audience finds amusing and then does the trademark hesitation and head scratching routine before belting out the last two letters.

S asks the SpellMaster to repeat the word twice and says the word out loud each time. Following the coaching routine, S then asks the SpellMaster to use the word in a sentence. S is now comfortable to start the process of carefully spelling the word.

C repeats the word after the SpellMaster. On getting confirmation that that is indeed the correct word, C asks the SpellMaster for the Greek root of the word. With the radar in place C is able to proceed with the spelling aspect of the process.

Success with People – DISC Funecdotes

Early days – Nursery rhymes

D quickly reads the story of the cow and his leap over the moon. “I am finished Miss. Can I get another story to read?” The teacher leans towards considering D a fast learner.

I sets about colouring the story. The entire scene is played in 3-D mentally. The cow has a rocket placed on its back and it all comes in full color. The teacher wonders if I needs additional help with reading.

S reads the story twice to ensure that it is fully understood and all the facts have been noted. S then starts reflecting on just who this cow might be. What is this cow feeling at this point in time? Is there a family? They must feel proud about him. Miss thinks about adding S to the list of those needing additional work in reading.

C does a quick preview of the story and gets the storyline.  C thinks the story is unrealistic, meaningless and a waste of time. C then asks the teacher for a series of mental arithmetic practice problems. The teacher is somewhat confused but is pleased with C’s commitment and industry.