As the years go by you appreciate better the value of wisdom and discernment. Also, you learn to add DISCIPLINE which is essential for successful living.
Life Skills
R.O.M.P. Framework for Marital Bliss
R.O.M.P.
A guide to sustaining marital bliss
R – re-visit! Look back on the high points of your courting and marriage. Re-live them in thought and in deed. Re-discover why you are partners. Relate!
O – open up! Communicate freely and frequently. Omit malice and fault-finding.
M – Mate! The physical elements of mating have the potential to cover over some other deficiencies. Remember though your Mate is your friend and partner and with that comes loyalty, commitment and sharing. Manage your finances well. Money worries are bliss-sapping.
P– Play! Spend time fun times together. Play board games, physical games, walking, jogging. Include ‘playing the fool’ – good old-fashioned romping. Pray together…heals wounds, overcomes difficulties and charts success.
Distracted from success?
Juggler astounds audience with # of items he has motion. Pushes limits & adds more. Finally one falls. Some get distracted by that. And You? Do you focus on your successes or your get distracted by your mistakes?
Success in the midst of disappointment
Many times personal victory comes with disappointment. Don’t be distracted by the misstep. Celebrate & build on the win. If you score more than is scored against you, YOU WIN! Success comes from accentuating the positives.
5-step framework for coping with the storms of life
5-Step strategy for responding when the storms of life are raging:
1. Approach life with certainty.
Research data suggests that when persons are in a state of uncertainty negative results seem to have greater impact. The blows seem to be amplified.
So from that it would appear that people who approach impending events with confidence and certainty fare better if things do not go as planned.
2. Deal with the facts as there are now…not what they could be or have been
All too often we place ourselves in the role of a storyteller. We face one set of facts and we rush off to create situations that may not even occur.
Luke 8:24 The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!”
This extension of the facts produces unnecessary tension and reduces our capacity to address the facts as they really are.
3. Invite Divine Intervention. James 5: 13 Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. …. 16 The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Outside of invoking the power of God, prayer has the additional benefit of helping us to focus on the resolution of the issues at hand. We petition God about things that we figure will resolve the issue. It helps to direct us to the way forward.
Prayer also has the effect of calming our frazzled nerves. By appealing to a higher authority we grow in confidence and we feel better about the situation.
4. Take action that supports your prayers.
When we pray we should act as is our prayers are being answered. We have to proceed with the assurance that God’s providence is going to be granted to us and all our actions should reflect that confidence.
Mark 11: 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
5. Get the support of others.
When the storms of life are raging it makes good sense to seek to weather them with the support of others. Sometimes things are just a little too much for us to handle on our own. Even the strongest of us need support at times. We should be willing to seek assistance – even just moral support when we face difficult times. That is one of the reasons for the Christian fellowship. We are to be our brother’s keepers.
Gal 6: 2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Leadership
Keri Smith: to lead you have to conquer the “I don’t feel like it” syndrome
Trevor Smith: and sometimes replace it with “I am NOT doing it!”… saying “No” at the right times and in the right way is a special gift.
10-step Conflict Resolution Framework
10-step Conflict RESOLUTION Framework
1. Restate other’s comments in your own words to ensure proper understanding. Follow this rule before responding and coming to conclusions.
2. Examine situations objectively. Take care to separate the behavior from the individual and avoid carrying past baggage into new situations.
3. Suspicion, self-pity and stubborness have no place in inter-personal relations. Be understanding, positive, co-operative and humble.
4. Observe rules of fair play and common decency. Character assassination is to be avoided. In all likelihood you will be relating to this person in the future.
5. Lower your voice, if you start to get heated. Monitor your body language to ensure that you present a calm yet confident and determined demeanor.
6. Untie yourself from inflexible positions. Focus on finding creative ways of having your interests met instead of making flat demands.
7. Time is a great healer. Be patient and maintain a positive expectancy that the matter will be resolved soon.
8. Initiate steps to resolve conflicts. Be proactive instead of waiting for the other party to make the first move.
9. Omit malice, lies, deceitfulness and unwholesome talk from the interaction. Be longsuffering and focus on the shared mission.
10. Negotiate with win-win in mind. This is a sounder basis for lasting peace than seeking to overpower the other party.
TrevorESSmith 