Dealing with Stress

John Gray points out that men deal with stress differently from women. Watch the video below.

Our behavioral preferences also influence how we handle stress.

Dominance-orientation (outgoing/task oriented):

Seek a solution. At least lose myself in action.  If I am fully engaged in meaningful activity that I am making progress and the stressor gets pushed into the background.

Influence/Inducement-orientation (outgoing/people oriented):

Put a positive spin on the situation. I will find blue skies somewhere. In the worst case, I find comfort in the thought that this too will pass. In the meantime, I will find something interesting to attract my attention. Live is too short to spend it moping.

Steadiness-orientation (reserved/people oriented):

This calls for support. Together WE can deal with this issue. Let us discuss this and collectively find solutions. I will remain calm but this matter will engage my attention. I am not comfortable simply ignoring it.

Compliance/Conscientiousness (reserved/task oriented):

Go into review mode. Work to find the cause. Evaluate the potential  impact. List possible strategies for resolving the problem and the pros and cons. Choose the best option. Batten down for the worst.

Here is the John Gray take on how men and women handle stress.


How To Cope With Mother-Wife Challenges

First time mothers are called upon to cope with a battery of challenges that even the most stressed business leader might shun.

In the first place, as wife she has been addressing the issue of working to get two individuals from different maturing experiences to live as one harmoniously. Isn’t that enough to keep a normal person occupied?

It is usually best for newlyweds to get acclimatized to marriage and to living together before bringing children into the picture.

Have you fully evaluated the impact of a new birth on the relationship between husband and wife?

Read more……

About the Author

TrevorESSmith has been married for over 3 decades – to the same wife. He has 3 successful daughters, 2 sons-in-law, a grandson and granddaughter who make it so much easier on the journey to Success in Marriage. He is an author (Success in Marriage and R.O.M.P.) and people skills, inter-personal relations and performance enhancement coach.

How to cope with Mother – Wife Challenges:

5-step framework for coping with the storms of life

5-Step strategy for responding when the storms of life are raging:

1. Approach life with certainty.
Research data suggests that when persons are in a state of uncertainty negative results seem to have greater impact. The blows seem to be amplified.

So from that it would appear that people who approach impending events with confidence and certainty fare better if things do not go as planned.

2. Deal with the facts as there are now…not what they could be or have been
All too often we place ourselves in the role of a storyteller. We face one set of facts and we rush off to create situations that may not even occur.
Luke 8:24 The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!”

This extension of the facts produces unnecessary tension and reduces our capacity to address the facts as they really are.

3. Invite Divine Intervention. James 5: 13 Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. …. 16 The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Outside of invoking the power of God, prayer has the additional benefit of helping us to focus on the resolution of the issues at hand. We petition God about things that we figure will resolve the issue. It helps to direct us to the way forward.

Prayer also has the effect of calming our frazzled nerves. By appealing to a higher authority we grow in confidence and we feel better about the situation.

4. Take action that supports your prayers.
When we pray we should act as is our prayers are being answered. We have to proceed with the assurance that God’s providence is going to be granted to us and all our actions should reflect that confidence.
Mark 11: 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

5. Get the support of others.

When the storms of life are raging it makes good sense to seek to weather them with the support of others. Sometimes things are just a little too much for us to handle on our own. Even the strongest of us need support at times. We should be willing to seek assistance – even just moral support when we face difficult times. That is one of the reasons for the Christian fellowship. We are to be our brother’s keepers.

Gal 6: 2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Cues from Life: Lessons from Dental Floss

Cues from Life

Lessons from Dental Floss

Early Removal

Dental floss is a convenient replacement for toothpicks and is designed to allow us to efficiently remove food particles that have lodged between our teeth. The early removal of particles prevents the occurrence of decay and the onset of poor dental hygiene. Poor dental hygiene has unpleasant effects and usually produces painful consequences.

Sin has a way of lodging easily in our lives. Left unattended it leads to decay and poor spiritual health. The effects are unpleasant and can be eternally painful. Have you noticed that when you err for the first time in a particular area, it is repulsive and you are really very upset. The next time, the level of your anger is somewhat lower. This continues until the error becomes a “besetting sin” — in other words, you have grown to accept its occurrence. That is why it has beset you. Swift repentance (real, deep-seated regret and a firm commitment not to repeat the action) flosses out sin from our lives before they get a chance to settle in and produce lasting decay.

Sterner stuff

Thread-like in appearance, dental floss owes its popularity to the fact that it is made of sterner stuff than thread. The texture of thread is such that it snaps too easily when used for flossing. One of the goals of personal development is to so shape our ‘texture’ (character) that we are built of sterner stuff.

We want to produce mental fibre that can withstand the stresses of life without snapping. The first step is to recognize the fact that it is possible to develop the capacity to cope better with stress. In order to produce floss instead of thread, one has to alter either the inputs or the process. The same is true of character. What we are is result of the raw material we feed into our minds. A steady supply of healthy, positive thoughts mixed with a clear vision and a commitment to excellence will produce a strong personality, capable of coping with life.


Dental floss grew in popularity over toothpicks because its flexibility offered the user far greater opportunities to remove food particles than a toothpick. Too many of us go through life in a fixed, one-directional manner. We get flustered and unproductive if things fail to go as planned. We stick stubbornly to ‘the plan’, unwilling to open our minds to other options and to revised objectives. Flexibility is a better option than holding firm to a wooden, uni-directional approach to living.