How To Get Best Results From Dominance

 

 

 

How To Get Best Results From Dominance

In the decades that I have worked with the DISC Framework and provided coaching and solutions to individuals and organizations, problems relating to DOMINANCE is one constant among the issues to be resolved.

I have shared frequently on how to deal with dominant individuals. We have gone as far as developing a Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM)-accredited certification program specifically to address this recurring challenge – “3-D Leader Certification: How to lead Difficult, Dominant and Diverse Individuals.”

Today, I want to place the focus on what dominant individuals can do to get better results. What adjustments can a dominant leader, manager, wife, husband, professional make to enhance relationships and improve performance?

  1. Place greater value on teamwork

This is loaded because it touches many of the issues that others have in dealing with you. These three bullet points help:

  • You may have the vision and clarity re the destination. However, some people need to know where they are going and the route to be taken before signing up and becoming fully engaged. Make the time to sell the vision and strategy on an ongoing basis.
  • Resist the temptation to go-it-alone when others are not responding at the pace and in the manner that you want. A one-man-band is great but a group brings added benefits. Place value on this added dimension and work to preserve it…despite frustrations and lost time.
  • Time invested in empowering your support crew can have extraordinary returns on investment.

2. Be more sensitive

It is not immediately clear why some people are so thin-skinned. And some do need to grow up. However, until that changes, fix what you have under your control – YOU. One of your redeeming features is that you are frank and willing to let others know where you stand.

That said, you get better results if you pause to state your views more diplomatically – being conscious that your audience might be sensitive.

Trust me on this: Body language, tone and facial expression are the killers. You are merely emphasizing a point but get the push back that you are shouting. Adopt the S-Style and p-u-n-c-t-u-a-t-e sentences in quieter voice when upset.

Get this also: Not all moments are right for teaching and correcting! Postpone calling out the spade until later. BTW…some people sweat small stuff and get offended if you totally ignore them.

3. Listen even though….

I know. This is the third time that he has said “As I said before…”

I know that you got it the first time and you are ready to move on. Listen to me, if you shut him down he is going to complain that he can’t get a chance to express himself and might clam up going forward. Sink your nails into your palms, maintain eye contact and appear attentive.

Hot tip: Summarize what you have heard to reduce the frequency of the “You’re not listening” feedback.

4. Spend more time in analysis

Your track record justifiably inspires the confidence you exhibit. However, history is replete with cases of failure arising from over-confidence. Stay true to doing the homework (or have it done for you).

While you are at it, ask more – tell less. Developing the capacity and willingness to use Powerful Questioning techniques is transformational.

5. Bypass triggers

Some things annoy you. Work to calmly respond to them. Others may deliberately use them to upset you.

6. Allow more time for recharging

Batteries run down and are dysfunctional in that state. Manage your time so that you can function in peak state most of the time. One solution is to bring laser-focus to how you allocate your time. Make the decision to shed a low priority/low value adding project and channel that time into recharging your battery and upgrading your skills. Spend some time in a useful learning & development program or commit to a coaching intervention.

Join me as the Training Magazine sponsors a live webinar: “Is Your Coaching Truly Effective? Let’s Change That”.  Thu, Jul 06, 2017 at 11 AM Pacific / 2 PM Eastern

Register here: http://www.smmconnect.com/events/1157?gref=SMMCtwitter

Trevor E S Smith develops high performing teams and certifies leader-coaches using DISCerning Communication techniques.

The Success with People Academy is the home of the revolutionary FinxS Platform from Extended DISC. Hire Smart, Conduct Employee Satisfaction Surveys, 360 Performance Evaluations and Team Reports using logistics-friendly technology.

Contact: E-mail: info@swpacademy.com

 

 

 

 

How To Give Negative Feedback To A Dominant Individual

 

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How To Give Negative Feedback To A Dominant Individual 

How to lead dominant team members is mystery for many managers. The situation gets worse when faced with the task of giving negative feedback to what is considered to be “difficult people.”

I share some practical steps with related case study extracts to guide you to effectively give negative feedback to dominant individuals.

Using my DISCerning Communication principles, persons who come across as dominant are placed in the red, Outgoing-Task-oriented quadrant of the DISC Framework. One foundation principle of DISCerning Communication is that we have four tool-kits to navigate through life and cope with its challenges. While we have access to all four tool-kits we tend to have preferences and it takes more energy and focus for us to use some of the tool-kits.

The four DISC tool kits are:

Dominance (D-Style) – direct, driven, determined, decisive, daring

Inducement (I-Style) – innovative, inspiring, inter-connected, influential, impulsive

Steadiness (S-Style) – steadfast, stable, supportive, service-oriented, single-minded

Conscientiousness (C-Style) – cautious, compliant, critical-thinking, consistent, curious

How to give negative feedback to D-Style behavior

Giving negative feedback to someone who has a preference for using the D-style is NOT as risky as you may think. One key is to be reflect on the context in which the feedback is framed.

  1. Context

 I suggest that you use the competitiveness of the D-Style user as the starting point and position the feedback in the context of winning.

Re-state agreed objectives and related rewards and reinforce why keeping the feedback loop open facilitates winning. Achieving the objectives takes preeminence and all of us need to look beyond personal issues in our quest for success.

NOTE: It is important to ensure that the D-Style user has bought in to your objectives and is committed to its achievement.

Securing buy-in and vision alignment is the single most important key to effectively leading individuals who have a preference for the D-Style.

Case study

 D operated a small family business. He had a major challenge in getting negative feedback from his employees. They interpreted his take charge approach as an indication that he did not want any interference. Some feared they would lose their jobs if they appeared to be criticizing D. Meanwhile, D lamented that he only had yes men in his employ. D knew that honest feedback was essential to getting a competitive edge.

2. Privacy

Take care to present negative feedback in private. This should apply to all styles but is especially important for D-Style users. Think back from your time in school about the student that would endure punishment rather than back down in order to save face. I suggest that you avoid the issue of saving face by making sure that there is no audience.

Case Study

D gets a visit from her boss. On leaving he stands at the open door and makes a comment in the hearing of D’s staff that she believes undermines her authority. D makes a decision right then to quit the job. She points out to the boss in the exit interview that his lack of respect for her was the primary cause of her leaving.

3. Pulling rank

 Do not make the error of confusing a passionate attempt to challenge your conclusions and to justify their personal actions as a lack of respect or insubordination.

D-Style users will tend to put up a strong defense of their actions. They will tend to be animated in the discourse and this is often seen as dominating the conversation. Too many managers feel insecure at those times and seek the security of their positions to control the dialogue.

The interesting consideration is that more animated defenses are really a show of respect. The D-style recipient respects the person giving the feedback and desperately wants to correct the negative impression that they seem to have! Be more concerned if your negative feedback is accepted without any pushback. You probably have lost that D-Style team member.

Case Study

The CEO decided to intervene directly after yet another employee was about to be sacked for insubordination by the same line manager. The manager had an old school approach that forbade “talking back”. The CEO figured that it would not be long before they would lose all their D-style employees.

 4. Cause

Establish the underlying reason why negative feedback is necessary.

  • If the D-style user is keen to win and is driven by achieving objectives, then why is there a deviation from that path?
  • Are the instructions clear?
  • Are the necessary resources in place?
  • Is there an element of resistance and if so, what is the cause?

Case Study

The D-style Plant Manager had developed an unorthodox but seemingly successful strategy for giving feedback to his under performing D-style staff. He would pull out a copy of the Organizational Chart and mark an X on it. He would write You are here beside the X. He then proceeded to explain what being here meant in terms of the performance requirements. He would close the interview by pointing out that the X would be erased if their performance did not meet the requirements. Most of the D-Style employees took a “Don’t test me” approach, comfortably exceeded the requirements and walked with a swag in the presence of the Plant Manager.

Application

Take time to consider strategies for effectively giving negative feedback to D-style colleagues in situations that are directly related to your normal activities.

Discuss your ideas with a colleague.

Join me as the Training Magazine and Sales & Marketing Magazine sponsors my live webinar: “Is Your Coaching Truly Effective? Let’s Change That”.  Thu, Jul 06, 2017 at 11AM Pacific / 2PM Eastern http://www.smmconnect.com/events/1157?gref=SMMCtwitter

Trevor E S Smith develops high performing teams and certifies leader-coaches using DISCerning Communication techniques. The Success with People Academy is the home of the revolutionary FinxS Platform from Extended DISC. Hire Smart, Conduct Employee Satisfaction Surveys, 360 Performance Evaluations and Team Reports using logistics-friendly technology.

Contact: E-mail: info@swpacademy.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Belonging – An Essential Feature Of High Performing Teams

 

Belonging – An Essential Feature Of High Performing Teams

MathFormulaForTeamwork

A lack of cooperation is one of the challenges that frustrates effective teamwork. The absence of a sense of “belonging” goes to the heart of the issue.

Brackets

As in Algebra, groups apply brackets when conducting their affairs.

The brackets represent both inclusion and exclusion. It indicates that the things within the brackets have something in common that sets them apart from things outside. It also dictates that the things within the brackets should be given similar treatment.

Let’s now take the leap from the abstract to the real live challenge of working cohesively with others.

Belonging”.

One common problem in dysfunctional teams is the failure of members to identify with the team. They don’t see themselves as being part of the whole that is bonded by common objectives and shared goals.

The brackets say – there is a bond that ties us together. The on the ground reality is that many speak of their teams in terms of they instead of we.

Another tell-tale sign that the brackets are meaningless in terms of inclusion, is the fact that team successes are not celebrated as personal successes. It is like a disgruntled defender coming home to report that they won the match. From the bench he does not see himself as belonging in the team.

Do a bit of investigative work over the next days and listen carefully to the dialogue of colleagues – your team and other groups. See how often you can detect pride in the accomplishments of the group to which the individual belongs.

In cohesive and functional teams the pride comes from just being a part of the team. Members champion the cause of the team as a whole and each member individually. Team member Jenny’s graduation is ours. In a real sense it might be because we helped so much with her research projects and proof reading her submissions!

That is the spirit that fuels high performing teams and tightly connected groups.

Meanwhile, back in dysfunctional land, Desmond has been like a zombie since he was passed over for the Team Leader role. He might not openly tear down what Martha puts forward but his lack of interest cannot be missed. It is also noticeable that people who were close to Desmond and who felt that he should have got the promotion are also not engaged.  The separation is not only mental as they have now started to eat as a clique in a corner of the lunch room.

This team is on a downward spiral and the impact will soon be evident in their key performance indicators (KPIs).

Unfortunately, it is Martha’s responsibility as Team Leader to solve the problem. She may not have appointed herself but now it is her job to get the best from her team.

She needs to have a heart-to-heart talk with Desmond. She can share that she has observed that he is not the dynamic, vibrant person of three months ago and she would like to discuss the change. She needs to steer clear of even a hint of accusation with respect to his lack of support.

One strategy that might work well for Martha is for her to find some solution – a role, maybe – that helps Desmond to save face and feel better about himself. Could she identify a discrete part of her responsibility and invite him to take charge of it without weakening her authority?

That could produce the benefits of getting Desmond engaged once more while giving her the opportunity to focus on other areas. Of course, if Desmond messes up that would provide grounds for another conversation.

Join me in the Training Magazine and Sales & Marketing Magazine sponsors a live webinar: “Is Your Coaching Truly Effective? Let’s Change That”.  Thu, Jul 06, 2017 at 11AM Pacific / 2PM Eastern http://www.smmconnect.com/events/1157?gref=SMMCtwitter

Trevor E S Smith develops high performing teams and certifies leader-coaches using DISCerning Communication techniques. The Success with People Academy is the home of the revolutionary FinxS Platform from Extended DISC. Hire Smart, Conduct Employee Satisfaction Surveys, 360 Performance Evaluations and Team Reports using logistics-friendly technology.

Contact: E-mail: info@swpacademy.com

 

How To Be More DISCerning With Others

 

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My 2+ granddaughter makes it clear when I can sing along and when I am to be silent. I discern that compliance is required.

Discernment enhances inter-personal relations and effective leadership. This is wrapped up in an approach that I call DISCerning Communication.

The concept incorporates behavioural preferences.  Questions about the value and validity of classifying behavioural styles have been raised.

Reference to an analogy of clothing preferences puts the issue into correct perspective. In reality, behavioural preferences are directly equivalent to our taste in clothes. We can put on or take off shades at will. At the same time, our library of photos will reveal a shade preference.

I have a preference for wearing blue. However, a pitfall would be to label me as a blue-shirt man. I am not wed to blue and wear other colours.

It is beneficial for the clothing store owner to know that there are people who have a preference for blue so as stock accessories and variations to satisfy them. However, it would be an error to confine their dealings with me to only items of blue. I might be seeking to diversify my wardrobe or could be encouraged to try on something new.

The fundamental principle is the need to separate the behaviour from the person.

The store owner should handle demonstrated blue shirt preference by showing things that go along with blue shirts. However, she should treat theindividual with an open mind, not knowing what they might want this time. Once the customer indicates a preference then the owner should roll out the things that are best suited to that style.

This approach dramatically improves the capacity of the store owner to satisfy customers. She identifies the cross-section of preferences that she will serve and works out how to best serve the needs of each preference. She does not need to be concerned that customers might have complex tastes. She focuses on learning to discern when a preference that she has classified is displayed and roll out her tested strategy for satisfying the identified needs.

Now, it could be that in a single encounter, the customer displays different – even conflicting – preferences. That is fine. Be clear about which preference is being addressed at any point in time and present the solution that meets those needs. Then move to the next.

The challenge we have created with behavioural classifications comes from the need to affix labels on others. The store staff says here comes blue-preference Trevor and shuts down every other expectation of my behaviour. Then when I am drawn to the flaming red turtleneck there is shock and their faith in the classification concept is dented. Focus on behaviours not on individuals!

Properly defined the behavioural classifications are consistent. People are not. Learn to identify behaviours and how best to respond to or manage them and life’s journey is a lot easier to navigate.

Step 1: Master the descriptors of the classification framework such that you can distinguish among behaviours (not people!).

Step 2: Learn how to get best results in relating to each category in the framework.

Step 3: Discern when each category is being displayed and apply the ideal strategy from Step 2.

That is the real value of behavioural classifications – facilitating inter-personal relationships. Stapling types as labels on the foreheads of others is misuse.

Avoid relying on “He is X”; “You are Y”; “I am Z” use of classifications!

Inserting the word using  makes all the difference in the world. “He is using X” alerts me to use X appropriate responses. I am also open to the possibility that he could shift to using Z at any time and I am flexible to apply suitable Z strategies.

However, the question remains: Is the store owner who invests in having customers fill out a questionnaire that highlights their preferences wasting time and money?

Not at all and here is why.

The store owner soon realizes that the range of preferences could be reduced to a manageable number of classifications. For simplicity here, she realizes that at its core her customers have a prevailing preference for variations of red, yellow, green, blue.

She uses that understanding to learn everything about relating to the nuances of each category (colour) and meeting their needs. She figures that showing blue might attract my interest but the minute I signal I am into red today, she rolls out her red sales plan.

The beauty of behaviour-based discernment is that the owner has the flexibility to deal effectively with both old and new customers. She discerns what’s going on with each customer in this moment and acts accordingly. DISCerning Communication works!

Next time, we discuss the value of  behavioural classification frameworks in leading others.

 

Ask about the SHRM-accredited 3-D Leader Certification: Dealing with Difficult People. Earn SHRM Professional Development Credits.

The next cohort of the ICF/SHRM accredited Certified Behavioural Coach Award is January 2016.

E-mail: info[at]swpacademy.com

Trevor E S Smith is a Behaviour Modification Coach with the Success with People Academy which is recognized by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) to offer Professional Development Credits (PDCs) for the SHRM-CPSM or SHRM-SCPSM Certifications.

How To Use A Math Formula To Improve Teamwork

MathFormulaForTeamwork

 

At school I learned the life-saving BOMDAS formula without which solving Algebra problems would be impossible.

The order of operation should be:

Brackets | Of  | Multiplication  | Division  | Addition |  Subtraction

Here is an example:

Solve: 7 + (6 + 3) x 5 – 4 ÷ 2

Step 1 [Brackets]:  7+ 9 x 5 – 4 ÷ 2

Step 2 [Multiplication & Division]: 7 + 45 – 2

Step 3 [Addition]: 52 – 2

Step 4 [Subtraction]: 50

Answer = 50

I want to explore with you its application in the realm of teamwork and healthy relationships. Applying the BOMDAS rules creatively could help address some of the challenges that produce a lack of cooperation in groups at a time when effective teamwork is critical for success.

Brackets

The brackets represent both inclusion and exclusion. It indicates that the things within the brackets have something in common that sets them apart from things outside. It also dictates that the things within the brackets should be given similar treatment.

Let’s now take the leap from the abstract to the real live challenge of working cohesively with others.

The first concept is “Belonging”.

One common problem in dysfunctional teams is the failure of members to identify with the team. They don’t see themselves as being part of the whole that is bonded by common objectives and shared goals.

The brackets say – there is a bond that ties us together. The on the ground reality is that many speak of their teams in terms of they instead of we.

Other tell-tale signs that the brackets are meaningless include the fact that team successes are not celebrated as personal successes. It is like a disgruntled player coming home to report that they won the match. After investigation you realize that it is actually his team that won. From the bench he does not see himself as belonging in the team and so he refers to his team as they.

Today’s crisis of low employee engagement has some of its roots in the fact that some team members feel like bystanders rather than being actively engaged in the field of play.

Do a bit of investigative work over the next days and listen carefully to the dialogue of colleagues – your team and other groups. See how often you can detect pride in the accomplishments of the group to which the individual belongs.

In cohesive and functional teams the pride comes from just being a part of the team. Members champion the cause of the team as a whole and each member individually. Team member Jenny’s graduation is ours. In a real sense it might be because we helped so much with her research projects and proof reading her submissions!

That is the spirit that fuels high performing teams and tightly connected groups.

Meanwhile, back in dysfunctional land, Desmond has been like a zombie since he was passed over for the Team Leader role. He might not openly tear down what Martha puts forward but his lack of interest cannot be missed. It is also noticeable that people who were close to Desmond and who felt that he should have got the promotion are also not engaged.  The separation is not only mental as they have now started to eat as a clique in a corner of the lunch room.

This team is on a downward spiral and the impact will soon be evident in their key performance indicators (KPIs).

Unfortunately, it is Martha’s responsibility as Team Leader to solve the problem. She may not have appointed herself but now it is her job to get the best from her team.

She needs to have a heart-to-heart talk with Desmond. She can share that she has observed that he is not the dynamic, vibrant person of three months ago and she would like to discuss the change. She needs to steer clear of even a hint of accusation with respect to his lack of support.

One strategy that might work well for Martha is for her to find some solution – a role, maybe – that helps Desmond to save face and feel better about himself. Could she identify a discrete part of her responsibility and invite him to take charge of it without weakening her authority?

That could produce the benefits of getting Desmond engaged once more while giving her the opportunity to focus on other areas. Of course, if Desmond messes up that would provide grounds for another conversation.

Leading teams is a challenging endeavor that requires a cross-section of well-developed competences. Formal ongoing professional development is essential.

Trevor E S Smith is a Behaviour Modification Coach with the Success with People Academy which is recognized by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) to offer Professional Development Credits (PDCs) for the SHRM-CPSM or SHRM-SCPSM Certifications.

Home of the ICF accredited “Certified Behavioural Coach Award.”

Joint venture partner Extended DISC/FinxS Caribbean …world leading behavioral assessment solutions.